I'm back. I can't believe I haven't posted in so many months.
The plan was to stick with it. The plan was to follow through. The plan was to write every day and eventually write a book. Because writers write, right?

I think I am afraid. On one hand I believe that I am supposed to write books, and I have such a desire to do so. On the other hand I seem to avoid the task by any means. I think I am afraid of failure.

I see so many inspirational quotes about overcoming fear, and failing being a good thing etc, etc. I get all pumped when I see them and promise myself that I will print them out and put them on my inspirational board, which I have also failed to create. And then, nothing. There's always something else to be done. Always some other time sucking activity that I choose to do instead.

When am I going to get it right? When am I going to take that leap?

I don't want anything drastic to have to happen before I get motivated. I just want to practice obedience and do it. I simply need to start, have faith, be obedient, and just do it for goodness sake!
I know that on the other side of obedience are blessings for both me and others. I know that in fulfilling my purpose, someone else's life will be made better in some way. I know that I have been blessed through other people's obedience and that it is not right for me to deprive others of what God may have for them.

So my prayer today is that I will submit myself completely to God's will, so that I can be used as a vessel to bring light and life to others. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Grateful

I tried to get a friend to help me in my battle to stay active, to actually follow through with the decision to live a healthier lifestyle. My friend was not on board. But, I'm okay with it. At first I was upset about it. But, I realized I can't count on someone else to hold me accountable for a course that I have chosen to take. I can't be upset because my friend doesn't want to travel with me.
The true test of my dedication to change my lifestyle lies with me. Period.

Time out for being weak-willed and weak-minded when it comes to me. That doesn't even make sense. Why would I choose to tear myself down and continue on a path of self-destruction? I heard a quote on the radio today that really resonated with me "Your health is your wealth."

I don't want to be in poverty anymore. Poor health is not only physical poverty, but emotional and spiritual poverty as well. When you are in poor health because of being overweight or because of an unhealthy diet (you can be thin and still be in poor health), you are not living the life that God has intended for you to live. You are bound. But, I am realizing every day that it doesn't have to be this way. Just because it may have been this way for many years, it doesn't have to stay that way.

There is freedom from the cycle. There is relief from the burden. I have learned that it starts with seeking God. He cares about this. It may seem like such a trivial issue, just eat right and exercise, but it's much more than that. If it were that easy, there would not be an obesity epidemic in America. The bible says that we wrestle not against flesh and blood.  This "battle of the bulge" if you will, is not a surface issue. It is an issue that is rooted deep into our hearts, minds, and spirits. It is only when we recognize this and make the decision to approach it with the correct attitude and willingness to submit it to the Lord, that we will experience victory.

I will say that it is an everyday battle, and  most times it seems to be uphill! But God continues to walk with me on this journey, and I am happy to say that, in the midst of failures that sometimes seem inevitable, I am also experiencing victories.  I have more determination and a stronger will. Today, I danced, swam, and did 75 squats. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. One thing I do know is that I don't have to tackle it on my own. And for that, I am grateful.

Blessed

I am blessed. God has made himself known in my life and continues to do so on a daily basis. Today I picked up my children from school. I asked them how their day was like I always do. After answering, my daughter then reciprocated by asking me how my day was. Today, my answer was a little different than it normally is. I said "I had a good day today!" She replied, "Good, because I prayed for you to have a good day." I was pleasantly surprised by her statement. All I could do was smile and tell her thank you.

God has been working with me and how I perceive my job. It has been a rough couple of months, and I have been in a slump. A little while ago, I realized that it's not supposed to be this way. It doesn't have to be this way. I could easily take this issue to God in prayer rather than groan and complain about it on a daily basis. God is there waiting patiently for me to come to Him about the matter. If anybody has the solution, he does.

I am a high school teacher, and I deal with different attitudes and behaviors on a daily basis. All of these attitudes and behaviors are not favorable, to say the least. My situation was perplexing to me because, while I am so grateful to be employed on one hand, on the other hand I was not happy to go to work each day. I had been acting like things were hopeless and I was doomed to have to deal with certain issues for the rest of the year. But God put it in my spirit to seek Him. So, I have started doing that. For me, at this time in my life, seeking God looks like getting up early a few mornings a week for prayer. While I am not as consistent as I would like to be, I do see a difference.

Now, I try to put more focus on the good that I see in students. I realized that most of the students come to learn and have a desire to do well. I also realized that the battles that I do have are not against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12). I will not strive in the classroom, but in prayer. I thank God for caring about each area of my life. I thank Him for reminding me of that on this day.